You Win Some You Lose Some!!

I had the chance to spend a little time with K and the other kids on Sunday and it gave me the chance to experience the positives and the negatives of autism development in K.

I have titled this "You Win Some You Lose Some". That is incorrect. you win some and you keep fighting damn hard to help your autistic kids with the rest is my motto. You never give up on trying to help them in any situation.

Firstly, to the positive. On Sunday we took K and his siblings shopping in a big shopping centre. Getting him in the centre was a major positive in itself. There was a time when we would not even attempt it. The mere thought of a shopping centre was so daunting for him. We know that because when K is stressed he "flaps his wings" as we call it. That is, he stands or runs around with his hands flapping up and down like a bird trying to take off. When it came to shopping centres that used to be more like the Concorde flying out of Heathrow. I can't even imagine how stressed he must have been.

After many a time taking him into the centre when it is almost deserted late at night or first thing in the morning and by constantly chatting with him and keeping him occupied constantly we have managed to get him to the stage where it now a far less daunting prospect.

First he progressed to walking around sticking to my side like glue with a vice grip a blacksmith would have been proud of on my hand. As he has got older he has progressed to walking close to you though we no longer hold hands very often. K likes to walk almost touching you side by side. I think far enough away yet close enough to you that should something unexpected happen safety is at hand.

On Sunday shopping in the centre was a very pleasant experience. Well as pleasant as shopping with 5 kids in tow can be..lol

K informed me that he is getting older. His way of saying it is my sister's birthday next week but don't forget me but also I think his way of letting me know he was coping. he is well aware of some of the things like the head banging etc that he used to do and now hardly does at all.He often says to me "I don't so that any more" in acknowledgement of what he has grown out of or learnt to adjust to. He is only 11 but I never cease learning from him. I think in a lot of ways he copes with his autism far better than I do.

Sunday produced only a couple of negatives and they were relatively mild. KFC was the chosen lunch destination(Yes, I know. Stop feeding the kids fatty foods but I think a treat never hurts every now and then)..K announces that he is coming to help me at the counter. That is because he is getting bigger and can do these things. I took the opportunity to suggest that he take the money and pay the girl for lunch. No real harm there I figured unless of course the girl gives us the wrong change in which case maths whiz K would probably have no problem pointing out(very vocally of course) her error. The girl needn't of feared though because there was no way he was taking the money and having to communicate on any level with that strange little girl in the Red KFC uniform. "No Dad. You pay. I don't know her"... no amount of cajoling on my part would make a speck of difference.

With adventure number 1 at the KFC counter averted successfully we sat down to lunch. K again tells me he is getting bigger. In fact "I am going to be 12 this year. I am nearly a teenager"..very proud of himself. I weighed in again, testing for a reaction this time.

"That is right mate. You are getting big. When you get to be a teenager you will get to go to high school like your big brothers. Won't that be cool?" I got pretty much the response I expected.. "No! I don't think I will like it there."

As the day was going quite well I chose to cut my losses and not fear upsetting him. So I said to him that is OK Dad will help you when it comes time for high school. To which he replied "Cool!". Which loosely translated means..."Good. Let's change the subject."

Thankfully I have 2 years to solve that problem.

LET'S TALK ABOUT AUTISM!!

"School was awesome Dad"

Today marked the beginning of the 2011 school year for 489000 State School Students. Now on current ratios amongst those students would be approximately 4500 students with Autism. So let's spare a thought for the parents of all those autism children today as they hope that 2011 will be as stress free as possible for their kids.

Amongst those numbers are 60000 Prep school students starting their very first exciting adventure into the big wide world without Mum and Dad for the first time. Let's especially spare a thought for the approximate 450 of those children who(again on today's ratios) are autistic. I am sparing a moment for those amongst that 450 children who have not yet been diagnosed with autism and who are probably already finding school a very daunting and scary place. My thoughts go out to these kids because this day 6 years ago K walked through the school gates for the very first time. he was one of those 450 autistic children and, more importantly, he was one of those that at that stage were yet to be diagnosed.

6 years on and his mother and I are far more wise about autism but at that time we had no idea what it meant let alone that our beautiful boy had it.

This morning K walked boldly through those same gates again. this time he was going into Year 6. WOW! My little man isn't so little anymore. In fact he is big enough to look his mum squarely in the eye though as most autism parents would understand that doesn't happen very often.

He told me on the weekend that he was excited. I like school Dad. That is a great relief at least because, as followers of this page would know, K had a few issues at school towards the end of last school year.

Anyway, off he went with his little sister, who after her own early life battles of being 9 weeks premature and having a non functioning valve in her heart(see "An Accidental Diagnosis" earlier in this blog) walked boldly through those same gates into Year 3. Daddy's little princess turns 8 next Thursday.

Meanwhile Dad spent the day on tender hooks waiting and hoping that the phone wouldn't ring on Day 1 saying we had a problem. the phone never rang...PHEW!!

At 3.15(yes, barely enough time for them to get home) I rang to see how the first day of their new adventure had been. Caitlyn comes on first and tells me all about her new teacher and her new friend and how cool the "Barbie" pencils Dad had bought her were.

Then on comes K and me with the obvious question:

"How was school K?"

The response....

"SCHOOL WAS AWESOME DAD!!"

Now K's "AWESOME" is the equivalent of me not getting a parking ticket but to to him it means he had a stress free day and that is all I and a lot of autism parents are asking for when it comes to school...

That was day 1. It was a great day. Only 39 weeks and 4 more days to go....but who is counting?

To all parents of autism students going off to school in the next week or so, and especially for those doing it for the first time. I hope you all have a great year and I echo that for their parents. My hat is off to each and every one of you!!

LET'S TALK ABOUT AUTISM!!

Autism in Australia blog back in action!

Hi Guys
It has been a while since I have posted anything on the blog...

Firstly, let me apologise for that.

The reason I haven't posted for some time is, as some of you are aware, my wife and I are divorced. Well suffice to say that the past couple of months have not exactly been cordial with regards to children etc. Divorce and separation puts different stresses on different people and we all act differently. This is not the time or place for  that.

Put simply, due to the above situation, up until last weekend I had not seen K for a few months. I was lucky enough to see him and my other children at the weekend briefly and look forward to a great 2011.

So, I am back bigger and better than ever to sprout about the cause dearest to all our hearts here...AUTISM.

So.... Let's Talk About Autism!!