You Win Some You Lose Some!!

I had the chance to spend a little time with K and the other kids on Sunday and it gave me the chance to experience the positives and the negatives of autism development in K.

I have titled this "You Win Some You Lose Some". That is incorrect. you win some and you keep fighting damn hard to help your autistic kids with the rest is my motto. You never give up on trying to help them in any situation.

Firstly, to the positive. On Sunday we took K and his siblings shopping in a big shopping centre. Getting him in the centre was a major positive in itself. There was a time when we would not even attempt it. The mere thought of a shopping centre was so daunting for him. We know that because when K is stressed he "flaps his wings" as we call it. That is, he stands or runs around with his hands flapping up and down like a bird trying to take off. When it came to shopping centres that used to be more like the Concorde flying out of Heathrow. I can't even imagine how stressed he must have been.

After many a time taking him into the centre when it is almost deserted late at night or first thing in the morning and by constantly chatting with him and keeping him occupied constantly we have managed to get him to the stage where it now a far less daunting prospect.

First he progressed to walking around sticking to my side like glue with a vice grip a blacksmith would have been proud of on my hand. As he has got older he has progressed to walking close to you though we no longer hold hands very often. K likes to walk almost touching you side by side. I think far enough away yet close enough to you that should something unexpected happen safety is at hand.

On Sunday shopping in the centre was a very pleasant experience. Well as pleasant as shopping with 5 kids in tow can be..lol

K informed me that he is getting older. His way of saying it is my sister's birthday next week but don't forget me but also I think his way of letting me know he was coping. he is well aware of some of the things like the head banging etc that he used to do and now hardly does at all.He often says to me "I don't so that any more" in acknowledgement of what he has grown out of or learnt to adjust to. He is only 11 but I never cease learning from him. I think in a lot of ways he copes with his autism far better than I do.

Sunday produced only a couple of negatives and they were relatively mild. KFC was the chosen lunch destination(Yes, I know. Stop feeding the kids fatty foods but I think a treat never hurts every now and then)..K announces that he is coming to help me at the counter. That is because he is getting bigger and can do these things. I took the opportunity to suggest that he take the money and pay the girl for lunch. No real harm there I figured unless of course the girl gives us the wrong change in which case maths whiz K would probably have no problem pointing out(very vocally of course) her error. The girl needn't of feared though because there was no way he was taking the money and having to communicate on any level with that strange little girl in the Red KFC uniform. "No Dad. You pay. I don't know her"... no amount of cajoling on my part would make a speck of difference.

With adventure number 1 at the KFC counter averted successfully we sat down to lunch. K again tells me he is getting bigger. In fact "I am going to be 12 this year. I am nearly a teenager"..very proud of himself. I weighed in again, testing for a reaction this time.

"That is right mate. You are getting big. When you get to be a teenager you will get to go to high school like your big brothers. Won't that be cool?" I got pretty much the response I expected.. "No! I don't think I will like it there."

As the day was going quite well I chose to cut my losses and not fear upsetting him. So I said to him that is OK Dad will help you when it comes time for high school. To which he replied "Cool!". Which loosely translated means..."Good. Let's change the subject."

Thankfully I have 2 years to solve that problem.

LET'S TALK ABOUT AUTISM!!